Related:

• How many programmers -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  One, but you can never change it back again....
• How many guitarists/actors -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  One hundred. One to screw it in and 99 to say, "Oh, I can do that....
• How many Necrophiliacs -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  Only one. Oh, excuse me, could you please test the socket with your finger while I go get a new bulb?...
• How many angels can dance on a light bulb? It depends on the dance step.
• Lisa: [on phone] Oh no, that's awful, Mr. Puente. What?
  Oh, he owns the nuclear power plant. Yeah, I'd like to settle his hash too....
• Marge: You know, Fox turned into a hardcore sex channel so gradually, I didn't even notice.
  Yeesh! [turns TV off] Homer: Marge, it's so great to have the whole family together under one roof....
• Homer: Wait a minute...even Lenny is teaching a class!
  Look at the way they admire and adore him....
• How many keyboardists -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  "Oh, just one. But this bulb won't do. You want to use a 3-way bulb, but if you can afford it, I hear that next month GE will be coming out ....
• I've done 'B'. Really? How did you get on? Well - I had a bit of trouble with 'belching'.
  ..but I think I've got it sorted out in the end. (Burps) Oh no!...