Lisa: [on phone] Oh no, that's awful, Mr. Puente. What? Oh, he owns
the nuclear power plant. Yeah, I'd like to settle his hash too.
[hangs up] Dad, how can you work for a man like Mr. Burns?
Homer: Well, he's not all bad. He did send me this nice thank-you card.
Lisa: [reading it] "Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie." Dad, this doesn't
have your name on it.
[Homer looks closely at the card, then lowers it slowly]
Homer: Kids, would you step outside for a second?
[the kids run out]
[standing up] F --
[a church organ plays a chord; birds fly away; everyone stops]
Ned: Dear Lord! That's the loudest profanity I've ever heard.
-- And he's probably heard plenty,
"Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part One"
the nuclear power plant. Yeah, I'd like to settle his hash too.
[hangs up] Dad, how can you work for a man like Mr. Burns?
Homer: Well, he's not all bad. He did send me this nice thank-you card.
Lisa: [reading it] "Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie." Dad, this doesn't
have your name on it.
[Homer looks closely at the card, then lowers it slowly]
Homer: Kids, would you step outside for a second?
[the kids run out]
[standing up] F --
[a church organ plays a chord; birds fly away; everyone stops]
Ned: Dear Lord! That's the loudest profanity I've ever heard.
-- And he's probably heard plenty,
"Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part One"
Related:
- Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
feel the slippery finish.
Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?... - Homer: Welcome to the Simpson residence or "casa de Simpson," as I
call it.
Grimes: Yeah, what did you want to see me about, Simpson?... - Lisa: Everyone in Springfield had a reason to shoot Mr.
Burns, even us. [everyone groans in agreement] Bart, he broke your dog's legs.... - Homer: Lisa, honey, are you going to be OK?
Lisa: Bleeding Gums was my hero and I never got to tell him how I felt.
Homer: Oh, I'm sure he knew, and I'm sure that wherever he is now, he's happy.... - Marge: I must say, Mr. Burns is being awfully inconsiderate -- selfish,
even.
[Bart and Lisa walk in] Bart: Burns needs some serious boostafazoo, right Dad?... - Lisa: My name is Lisa Simpson and I made a chart of all the suspects
in the Burns case.
Look! [holds up a card] Mr. Burns hurt all these people financially.... - Lisa: Stop! Don't shoot my Dad. He's innocent. He wouldn't hurt a
fly!
[they open the door] Burns: [being strangled and shaken] Ho-mer Simp-son!... - Smithers: Er, um, there's some candy right here, Sir.
[points to a box] Why don't we eat this instead of stealing?... - Bart: Mr. Burns, I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I want to
go home to my family.
Burns: [sighs] I was hoping I wouldn't have to tell you this, but....

