Homer: Wait a minute...even Lenny is teaching a class! Look at the way
they admire and adore him.
[everyone drools 'baccy, dreamily watching Lenny]
That's it. If he can teach a class, _he_ can teach a class -- I
mean, _I_ can teach a class!
[in the Administrator's office]
Admin: What is your area of expertise?
Homer: Well, I can tell the difference between butter and "I Can't
Believe It's Not Butter!"
Admin: No you can't, Mr. Simpson! No one can.
Homer: Oh, I've failed again. Everyone can teach a class but me. I'm
an idiot! What am I going to tell my wife and kids?
Admin: Oh, you're married?
Homer: That depends...is there another way to get this job? [blinks
engagingly]
Admin: No...Mr. Simpson, what I mean is, we may have a job for you after
all. We need someone to teach a course on how to build a
successful marriage.
Homer: I'll do it. _Anything_ to get me out of that house away from all
that nagging, and noise...of a family of love. Sha na na na...
-- Quickly backpedaling,
"Secrets of a Successful Marriage"
they admire and adore him.
[everyone drools 'baccy, dreamily watching Lenny]
That's it. If he can teach a class, _he_ can teach a class -- I
mean, _I_ can teach a class!
[in the Administrator's office]
Admin: What is your area of expertise?
Homer: Well, I can tell the difference between butter and "I Can't
Believe It's Not Butter!"
Admin: No you can't, Mr. Simpson! No one can.
Homer: Oh, I've failed again. Everyone can teach a class but me. I'm
an idiot! What am I going to tell my wife and kids?
Admin: Oh, you're married?
Homer: That depends...is there another way to get this job? [blinks
engagingly]
Admin: No...Mr. Simpson, what I mean is, we may have a job for you after
all. We need someone to teach a course on how to build a
successful marriage.
Homer: I'll do it. _Anything_ to get me out of that house away from all
that nagging, and noise...of a family of love. Sha na na na...
-- Quickly backpedaling,
"Secrets of a Successful Marriage"
Related:
- Homer drives to Flanders' house; rings doorbell]
Ned:
Well, Homer, what a pleasant -- Homer: Can't talk... - Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
feel the slippery finish. Caresses it, experience it... - Marge: Homer, I really don't like you telling personal secrets in your
class.
Homer: Marge, I didn't tell 'em personal stuff. Marge... - Ned: OK, folks, look: I called the police captain in Shelbyville.
He says he hasn't seen our kids, but if they show up... - Marge: Homer, what happened to you?
Homer: Marge, I figured out what I can give you that no one else can:
a bouquet of po -- [sees Moe's bouquet] oh,... - Lenny: You want another card or not?
Homer: Huh? Oh,
OK. I'll take three. [Moe deals them] D'oh! D'oh... - Homer: I suppose you want to probe me. Well, you might as well get
it over with.
Kang: Stop! We have reached the limits of what rectal... - Marge: Oh, Homer, don't you have to get to class?
Homer:
Not tonight, Marge. Tonight, we can eat a nice leisurely... - Nerd 2: Oh, man, I can't believe you failed.
Homer:
[whining] Oh, I'm going to lose my job just 'cause...
From the same category:
- Careful, men. He wets his pants.
-- Smithers' instructions to security,
"Stark Raving... - Before we start, we have a lost child here. If she's not claimed within
the next hour,
she will become property of Blockbuster Entertainment... - Silverman draws a standard dog]
Myers: No, no, no!
He was supposed to have _attitude_. Silverman: Um.... - Homer: I was rude to every one of you, and you saved my life when you
could've just left me to fry like the proverbial pancake that I
am.
Marge: Aw, Homer, I'm so glad to hear you say... - Dear Marge. Thanks for the fab painting of Yours Truly.
I hung it on me wall. You're quite an artist. In...
