Related:

• Always address your elders with respect; they could leave you a fortune.
• FART -- A Greek love call.
• Hey, Mr. Sysop, Upgrade me or %$^&NO CARRIER
• Dick: Well, my time's almost up here, so, uh, I'd just like to say.
  ..I know Woody Allen. [a couple of people clap halfheartedly] Home...
• They call me Mr. Tinker Train! -- Ozzy Osborne
• I fart in your general direction.
• BTW, Bob, are you a grouchy old fart?
• Bart: Who's that, George? George: That's me with Charlton Heston.
  He was -- Bart: Who's that, George? George: Er -- see, you wouldn't know him....
• The only thing that bothers me is if I'm in a restaurant and I'm eating and someone says, "Hey, mind if I smoke?
  I always say, "No. Mind if I fart?" -- Steve Marti...