Related:

• Hey! Respect your elders. Call me Mr. Old Fart. -- Dick Vignoni
• I'm not available right now so please leave your name, number, and address and I will Stalk you later.
• Respecting your Elders doesn't include Joycelyn.
• It always makes you feel a little uneasy when people start treating you with consideration and respect, because then you've got to wonder if they know something you don't know about your health.
• Spock: "So I ask that you respect my wishes and *leave*." -- "Unification II", Stardate Unknow
• Thank you for calling Uncle Tom's Mortuary and Delicatessen.
  You stab 'em and we slab 'em. We have specials on Mondays and Thursdays....
• If this were the best of all possible worlds, I could come to the phone right now, but I can't, so if you could leave your name and number.
  .. -- Answering machine madness - can't answer right now because......
• You may be redneck... if your children address you as "Uncle Dad.
• Can you remember your first fortune cookie?