Related:

• Sorry that we're not at home. Please leave a message after the tone.
  When we get in, We'll give you a ring. Until then, wait by the phone....
• If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone.
  Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave us a message....
• Kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra":) Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached.
  .. (TA-DAAAAA!) the ANSWERING MACHINE! Leave your name and number, and we will get back to you as soon as we can....
• Computer generated voices:) 1: Hello, there are no real people here to answer the phone right now.
  2: Yeah, nobody but us machines! 1: Right, just us machines, but don't hang up!...
• I can't come to the phone now, so... Hey -- that's a nice phone you have there.
  Hey sugar, you call this number often? I bet you have answering machines bothering you all the time....
• On a male's answering machine, otherwise reverse gende
  ) BEEP. (Female voice:) Hi Tony, this is Sheila....
• Loud heavy-metal music in background; raspy voice:) Hello, this is the executioner.
  Joe can't come to the phone right now because he's DEAD!...
• Thank you for reaching out to us. Nobody is home now.
  However, if you leave a message, we'll reach out and touch you....
• I just got a car phone. I'm not here at the moment.
  Leave me a message and I'll call you when I'm out....