Related:

• If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone.
  Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave us a message....
• This answering machine message is for all you psychics out there.
  .. (Long silence...) BEEP -- Answering machine madness - playing with the calle...
• Thank you for calling, no doubt, As you can guess, we're out.
  When we get home, We'll call on the phone. Until then, just hang about....
• Sorry that we're not at home. Please leave a message after the tone.
  When we get in, We'll give you a ring. Until then, wait by the phone....
• I don't want to bore you with metaphysics, but how do you know this is an answering machine?
  Maybe it's a dream, or maybe it's an illusion, or maybe YOU don't really exist....
• This is Alan. Leave me a message and tell me what I can do to.
  .. I mean, do FOR you. -- Answering machine madness - playing with the calle...
• Answering machine message My answering machine now has the new AT&T incoming phone caller I.
  D. digital print-out. So leave a message or I'll know you hung up on my machine......
• We're not home now. Leave your name and number and we'll call you back as soon as you are a vegetarian.
  (Replace "vegetarian" with prejudice of your choice....
• Congratulations! By correctly dialing 123-4567, you have become eligible to leave a message!
  (Applause.) Join the lucky few that have advanced to the next level!...