Related:

• Raiders of the Lost Ark" in background:) You've reached the residence of John and Tom.
  We can't come to the phone right now, because we're cleaning the refrigerator....
• You have reached 934-2435. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition.
  You can try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded....
• You have reached the Strategic Air Command Nuclear Missile Storage Facility.
  We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number, and target or list of targets, and we'll launch as soon as we can....
• You have reached the Suicide Prevention Hotline. All our lines are busy now, but if you leave your name and number, someone will get back to you as soon as possible.
  -- Answering machine madness - odd organizatio...
• I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am.
  .. (or) I'm only here in spirit at the moment, but if you'll leave your name and number, I will get back to you as soon as I'm here in person....
• Please leave your name, phone number, the time you called, and your favorite color of underwear.
  We'll get back to you if we like the color. -- Answering machine madness - family fu...
• We're not home now. Leave your name and number and we'll call you back as soon as you are a vegetarian.
  (Replace "vegetarian" with prejudice of your choice....
• Drunken voice:) You have reached Bob's hotline. We are not able to respond due to uninevitable circumcisions.
  But if you leave your name and noomber, we won't be in wonder....
• My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
  -- Answering machine madness - family fu...