Related:

• This is Anthony. Leave me a message at the beep. (beep) Whoops, I bet you couldn't hear that.
  Lemme try again. (Beep) Nuts, once more with feeling....
• Creamed asparagus! BEEP -- Answering machine madness - befuddle the calle
• Don't you do it! Don't you dare! I don't want to hear it!
  Don't you beep! If you beep, I'll... don't even think about it!...
• This answering machine message is for all you psychics out there.
  .. (Long silence...) BEEP -- Answering machine madness - playing with the calle...
• Hi. This is Kevin and Diana's vacuum cleaner. Their appliances have switched jobs again, and I get to answer the phone 'cause my old job sucked.
  So leave a message after you hear the beep, and you can be sure it's in the bag....
• Yo. I ain't here at the moment. Leave a message at that silly beep and I'll get back.
  .. (Sniff, sniff...) Hey, what are you cooking? It smells good....
• You've reached Mike and Nancy's answering machine. They're not home right now.
  At least, I don't think they are. Hang on. (Voice moves away from recording microphone....
• Hi, can I speak to Mark?... Oh, there isn't?... I'm sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number.
  -- Answering machine madness - befuddle the calle...
• Ahhhhhhhhh... ahhhhhhhhhh... (Heavy breathing sounds, like an obscene phone call.
  ) Oh, nuts, YOU called ME! Sorry. Never mind. Leave your name and number at the beep....