Related:

• OK, one more time... This is our answering machine.
  .. This is the message on our answering machine.....
• Creamed asparagus! BEEP -- Answering machine madness - befuddle the calle
• This answering machine message is for all you psychics out there.
  .. (Long silence...) BEEP -- Answering machine madness - playing with the calle...
• Hello... Yes, I'd like to order two medium pepperoni pizzas please, with extra cheese.
  .. Oh, did I get the wrong number? Sorry about that....
• Classical music:) This is our answering machine. (Switch to heavy metal racke
  ) This is our answering machine on drugs. (Silence....
• Knock, knock. (Pause. Caller thinks, "Who's there?
  ) Isn't that *my* question? (Pause.) Please leave a message....
• Concatenation of events preclude our coming to the phone.
  Please speak freely, with magniloquence upon occasion of the tone....
• We're sorry. You have reached an imaginary number.
  Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again....
• As the drugs take hold, you feel you are losing your grip on reality.
  You begin to hallucinate. You see a telephone......