Related:

• Sorry that we're not at home. Please leave a message after the tone.
  When we get in, We'll give you a ring. Until then, wait by the phone....
• OK, one more time... This is our answering machine.
  .. This is the message on our answering machine.....
• All our answering machines are busy. Please hold. (Pause.
  ) All our answering machines are... (CLICK) This is the answering machine of....
• If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone.
  Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave us a message....
• Knock, knock. (Pause. Caller thinks, "Who's there?
  ) Isn't that *my* question? (Pause.) Please leave a message....
• Classical music:) This is our answering machine. (Switch to heavy metal racke
  ) This is our answering machine on drugs. (Silence....
• Hi, this is Jim. Thanks for calling during my spring pledge drive.
  A basic membership is only $30, and a $60 pledge gets you an "I love Jim Shea" T-shirt....
• You have reached 843-4734. Please hold while I process your call.
  (Pause.) Our extremely sophisticated computer system performed a trace on your number and was able to match it with our list of important callers....
• We're sorry. You have reached an imaginary number.
  Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again....