Related:

• I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking", but I don't have that much time. -- Steven Wrigh
• I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said "pet supplies".
  So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said "compact cars". -- Steven Wrigh...
• I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said, "Do you know the speed limit is 55 miles per hour?
  Yes, officer, but I wasn't going to be out that long..." -- Steven Wrigh...
• I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said "pet supplies".
  So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said "compact cars". -- Stephen Wrigh...
• I moved into an all-electric house. I forgot and left the porch light on all day.
  When I got home the front door wouldn't open. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I went into this bar and sat down next to a pretty girl.
  She looked at me and said, "Hey, you have two different colored socks on....
• One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign.
  He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read....
• I went to a job interview the other day, the guy asked if I had any questions.
  I said yes, just one, if you're in a car traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, does anything happen?...