Related:

• I was in a bar and I walked up to a beautiful woman and said, "Do you live around here often?
  She said, "You're wearing two different-color socks....
• I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep.
  Mom said, "Steven, time to go to sleep." I said, "But I don't know how....
• One time the police stopped me for speeding. They said, "Don't you know the speed limit is fifty-five miles an hour?
  I said, "Yeah, I know, but I wasn't going to be out that long." -- Steven Wrigh...
• One day I got on the usual bus, and when I stepped in, I saw the most gorgeous blond Chinese girl.
  ..I sat beside her. I said, "Hi," and she said, "Hi," and then I said, "Nice day, isn't it?...
• My next-door neighbor's little girl, 16 years old, pretty little girl--showed up just as pregnant as she could be.
  Her mama hit the ceiling. She said, "Who done it?...
• I went to a fancy french restaurant called "Deja Vu.
  The headwaiter said, Don't I know you? -- Steven Wrigh...
• I once went for a job at one of the airlines. The interviewer asked me why I wanted to be a stewardess, and I told her--it would be a great chance to meet men.
  I was honest about it! She looked at me and said, "But you can meet men anywhere....
• One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign.
  He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read....
• I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door.
  I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours....