Related:

• I got this powdered water -- now I don't know what to add. -- Steven Wrigh
• I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
  -- [Imitation] Steven Wrigh...
• I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm.
  By the time I got the machine set up, I was done. -- [Imitation] Steven Wrigh...
• I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose.
  Now when I get pulled over, the cop looks at it, moves it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly, and says, 'Here, you can go....
• I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose.
  Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it (moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly)....
• Called a blind date to set up a meeting at a restaurant.
  I said, "I'll be the one driving the Mercedes and wearing a Rolex....
• I spent all my money on a FAX machine. Now I can only FAX collect. -- Steven Wrigh
• I xeroxed my watch. Now I can give away free watches. -- Steven Wrigh
• I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?
  -- Steven Wrigh...