- Condoms are like listening to a symphony with cotton in your ears.
- Conservative, n.: One who admires radicals centuries after they're dead. -- Leo C. Roste
- Conserve energy -- make love more slowly.
- Cunnilingus is next to godliness.
- Dammit, how many times do I have to tell you? _____FIRST you rape, ____THEN you
- Dear Lord, observe this bended knee
This visage meek and humble,
And hear this confidential plea
Voiced in reverent mumble
Give me Shylock, give me Fagin But O God spare me Ronald Reagan! ...
- Dear Mr. Seldes: I cannot remember the exact wording of the statement
to which you allude
but what I meant was that ......
- Democracy can learn some things from Communism: for example, when a Communist politician is through, he is through.
- Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for
-- Oscar Wilde...
- Did you hear about the new German microwave oven? ... Seats 500.