Rodney Dangerfield: I Went To My Doctor And Told Him, "Hey, Doc!
I went to my doctor and told him, "Hey, Doc! I just took an entire bottle
of sleeping pills. What should I do?" He said, "Go home, have a couple
of drinks, and get some rest!!"
"I told my doctor I wanna stop aging, he gave me a gun!"
"I told my doctor I got water on my knee, he gave me a sponge and raised
"I met the surgeon general, he offered me a cigarette!"
RODNEY DANGERFIELD'S BEST ONE-LINERS A girl phoned me the other day and said .
... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over....
I remember when I swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills.
I get no respect - my doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest ......
A polish couple got married. On their wedding night they couldn't figure out how to have sex.
So the woman said to her husband, "Dear, go to the doctor tomorrow and ask him how we can have sex....
A farmer went to the doctor complaining that his sex life was not what it should be.
So the doctor gave him some pills, but warned him that they were still experimental, and that he should be extremely careful in their use....
A guy went to get a vasectomy (under general anesthesia).
While the guy was asleep, the doctor mistakenly cut his nuts off....
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby.
Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments....
This is a true story told by a friend of mine. It happened to a girl she knew.
There was this girl driving along the highway, when she suddely had to visit the restroom....
Straight Out Of The Eighties... This will only make sense to those of us who had the dubious distinction of being children of the eighties, or listened to music on a regular basis.
If you were "there", then you will understand.... I was working part time in a five and dime....
MY DOG "Sex") Usually, everyone who has a dog either calls it 'Rover' or 'Fifi' or some- thing.
I called mine 'Sex.' Well, 'Sex' is a very embarrassing name....