Stay The Patient Course Of Little Worth Is Your Ire The Network Is Dow

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• Computer Haikus Your file is that big? It might be very useful.
  But now it is gone. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Chaos reigns within....
• Press Release From Sony: Tokyo, Japan, March 31st - Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on its hot new portable PC called the Vaio.
  Instead of producing the cryptic error messages characteristic of Microsoft's Windows and DOS systems, Sony's chairman Asai Tawara said, "We intend to capture the high ground by putting a human, Japanese face on what has been-until now-an operating system that reflects Western cultural hegemony....
• While looking for a Real Job (read: technical writing), I've been paying the bills doing medical transcription work.
  I came across a book today called "The Empty Laugh Book" by the American Association for Medical Transcription, containing some of the funniest dictated and transcribed quotes from the world of medicine that I've ever encountered....
• Making The Rounds... A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning round
  and he entered a patient's room to find his patient sitting on the floor, sawing at a piece of wood with the side of his hand....
• The Blond And The Ventriliquist. A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town.
  He's going through his usual run of stupid blonde jokes, when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and say...
• The Ventriloquist A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town.
  He's going through his usual run of silly blonde jokes when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, "OK jerk, I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes....
• Oops! -- Take Two Things You Don't Want to Hear When Regaining Consciousne
  "I don't know what it is, but hurry up and pack it in ice....
• Actual Doctors' Notes On Patient's Charts: ** Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year ** On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.
  ** She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night....
• COMPUTER TERMS for REDNECKS: BACKUP -- What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods.
  BAR CODE -- Them's the fight'n rules down to the local tavern....