Related:

• THE BIG PIG Received the following communication from Poor Innocent Guy Asa of Montgomery, Alabama
  These should come in handy at work or when frequenting a doctor's office...
• <- "TWIT" button. Push it and ZAMMO!!
• A farmer is about to visit his wife at hospital. He enters (at non-visiting hours), and is asked to sit down and wait.
  After half an hour, he began to be a bit nervous, so he started walking....
• Give religious tracts to each passenger.
• Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
• Leipzig Hotel Lift: To move the cabin push for wishing floor.
  If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press button for wishing floor....
• GETTING RID OF TELEMARKETERS... ** If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
  ** If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problem...
• Why are Brussel Sprouts like pubic hair? You just push them aside and carry on eating.
• Thank you for calling 434-2322. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now.
  If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now....