Related:

• THE BIG PIG Received the following communication from Poor Innocent Guy Asa of Montgomery, Alabama
  These should come in handy at work or when frequenting a doctor's office...
• Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
• What do you call a faggot in the navy? A Rear Admiral.
• Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
• Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.
• You have to read the whole thing: The following is from a 1950's Home Economics textbook intended for the High School girls, teaching how to prepare for married life.
  1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal - on time....
• I think Santa Claus is a woman.... I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she.
  Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!...
• Signs That You Are No Longer A Kid ** You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
  ** You can live without sex but not without glasses....
• When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?