A small north Florida wild animal park had acquired a very rare
species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very
"moody," and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the park
veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make
matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the species available.
While reflecting on their problem, the park administrators noticed Ed,
a redneck part-time employee, responsible for cleaning the animals'
cages. Ed, like most rednecks, had little sense, but possessed ample
ability to satisfy a female of any species (except human). So, the
park administrators thought they might have a solution. Ed was
approached with a proposition: Would he be willing to have sex with
the gorilla for $500? Ed showed some interest, but said he would have
to think the matter over carefully.
The following day, Ed announced that he would accept their offer, but
only under three conditions. "First," he said, "I'm not gonna kiss
her. Second, you must never tell anyone about this." The park
administrators quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what
his third condition was. "Well," said Ed, "You gotta give me another a
week to come up with the $500."