Dear Santa:

You must be surprised that I am writing you today, the 26th of
December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that
have occurred since the begining of this year, when filled with
illusion, I wrote you my letter. I asked for a bicycle, an electric
train set, a pair of rollerblades, and a football uniform.

I destroyed my brain studying the whole year. Not only was I the first
in my class, but I had the best grades in the whole school. I am not
going to lie to you, there was no one in my entire neighborhood that
behaved better than me with my parents, my brothers, my friends, and
my neighbors. I would go on errands, and even help the elderly cross
the street. There was virtually nothing that I would not do for
humanity.

So what balls do you have leaving me a fucking yo-yo, a stupid whistle
and a pair of socks? What the fuck were you thinking, you fat
son-of-a-bitch, that you've taken me for a sucker the whole fucking
year to come out with some shit like this under the tree! As if you
hadn't fucked me enough, you gave the little jerkhead across the
street so many toys that he can't even walk into his house!

Please don't let me see you trying to fit your big fat ass down my
chimney next year or I'll fuck you up. I'll throw rocks at those
stupid reindeer and scare them away so that you'll have to walk back
to the fucking North Pole, just like I have to do now since you didn't
get me that fucking bike. FUCK YOU SANTA. Next year you'll find out
how bad I can be, you FAT-SON-OF-A-BITCH.

Sincerely,

Little Johnny :)