How To Mess With The IRS

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(Internal Revenue Service, an agency of the government to whom
Americans pay taxes on their salary.)

--Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead and put a down
the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from the
envelopes have to take out any staples in the right side.

--Never arrange paperwork in the right order, or even facing the right
way. Put a few upside down and backwards. That way they have to
remove all your staples rearrange your paperwork and re-staple it (on
the left side).

--Line the bottom of your envelope with Elmer's glue and let it dry
before you put in your forms, so that the automated opener doesn't
open it and the extractor has to open it by hand.

--If your very unfortunate and have to pay taxes use a two or three
party check.

--On top of paying with a three party check pay one of the dollars you
owe in cash. When an extractor receives cash, no matter how small an
amount, he has to take it to a special desk and fill out of few nasty

--Write a little letter of appreciation. Any letter received has to
read and stamped regardless of what it is or what it's on.

--Write your letter on something misshapen and unconventional. Like on
the back of a Kroger sack.

--When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope (even if its just a
single EZi form). Big envelopes have to be torn and sorted differently
than regular business size ones. An added bonus to the big envelope is
that they take priority over other mail, so the workers can hurry up
and deal with your mess.

--If you send 2 checks they'll have to staple your unsightly envelope
to your half destroyed form.

--Always put extra paper clips on your forms. Any foreign fasteners or
the like have to be removed and put away.

--Sign your name in ink on every page. Any signature has to verified
and then date stamped.

NOTE: These are just a few of the fun and exciting things you can do
with The Man. These methods are only recommended when you owe money

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