The following were actually taken from recent
classified adds in newspapers:
1 man, 7 woman hot tub -- $850/offer
Amana washer $100. Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed.
Snow blower for sale...only used on snowy days.
Free puppies...part German Shepherd part Dog
2 wire mesh butchering gloves, 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15
Tickle Me Elmo, still in box, comes with it's own 1988 Mustang, 5L,
auto, excellent condition $6800
Cows, calves never bred... also 1 gay bull for sale.
'83 Toyota Hunchback -- $2000
Star Wars Job Of The Hut -- $15
Free puppies: part Cocker Spaniel - part sneaky neighbor's dog
Free Yorkshire Terrier. 8 years old. Unpleasant little dog.
Soft & genital bath tissues or facial tissue - 89 cents
German Shephard. 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free.
Full sized mattress. 20 yr warranty. Like new. Slight urine smell.
Free 1 can of pork & beans with purchase of 3 br 2 bth home.
For sale: Lee Majors (6 million dollar man) - $50
Nordic Track $300 - hardly used - call Chubbie
Bill's Septic Cleaning - "We haul american made products"
Shakespeare's Pizza - free chopsticks
Found: dirty white dog...looks like a rat...been out awhile...better be
Hummels - largest selection ever - "If it's in stock, we have it!"
Get a little john:the traveling urinal - holds 2 bottles of beer.
Harrisburg Postal Employees Gun Club
Georgia Peaches - California grown - 89 cents lb.
Nice parachute - never opened - used once - slightly stained
Free: farm kittens. Ready to eat.
American Flag - 60 stars - pole included - $100
Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing
and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 - $9 per hour.
Notice: To person or persons who took the large pumpkin
on highway 87 near southridge storage. Please return the pumpkin
and be checked. Pumpkin may be radioactive. All other plants in
vincinity are dead.
Exercise equipment: Queen size mattress & box spring -$175.
Our sofa seats the whole mob - and it's made of 100% Italian leather.
Joining nudist colony, must sell washer & dryer - $300.
Lawyer says client is not that guilty.
Alzheimer's center prepares for an affair to remember
Ground Beast: 99 cents lb.
Gas cloud clears out Taco Bell.
Bar S Sliced Balogna - regular or tasty - save 30 cents on 2
Open house - body shapers toning salon - free coffee & donuts
Kellogg's Pot Tarts - $1.99 box
Fully cooked boneless smoked man - $2.09 lb.
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