I Have Some Sad News To Report: A Small Puppy, Not Unlike Lassie, Was Just Run Over In The Parking Lot.
I have some sad news to report: a small puppy, not unlike Lassie, was
just run over in the parking lot.
And now it's time for the comedy stylings of Homer Simpson!
-- Smithers warms up the audience, "Rosebud"
Burns: Could you explain your model, young man? Grime
[from audience] What's to explain? He's an idiot!...
Burns: That man who's getting all those laughs, Smithers.
..who is he? Smithers: Homer Simpson, sir, one of the carbon blobs from sector 7-G, but I don't think -- Bu...
Burns: The one who shot me was...[camera pans to Smithers] Aah!
Aah! Waylon Smithers! Smithers: [pained] Noo! Wait a minute...
Homer: It's Mr. Smithers, he's calling for you. Smithe
[on a beach] How's everything going there, sir? Well, I have a lot of....
Homer: [snores] Bart: Look alive, Simpson, I'm not paying you to goldbrick.
Homer: [wakes up] Uh... Yes sir. Bart: Now get cracking on my long division, and don't forget to show your work, Simpson....
Burns: [gasps at his sight] Good Lord, Smithers, you look atrocious.
I thought I told you to take a vacation. Home...
Jay: Welcome to "Coming Attractions". I'm your host, Jay Sherman, thank you.
Tonight, we review an aging Charles Bronson in "Death Wish 9"....
Man 1: Excuse me, we wanted to see the geek who valued the happiness of his children more than money.
Homer: [unenthused] Right here. Man 2: Aw, you said his head was the size of a baseball....
Quimby: People, take it easy. We're all upset about Mr.
Burns' plan to, uh, block out our sun. It is time for decisive action....