Bart: But I saw the murder and then I saw you bury the corpse in the
back yard!
Ned: [weeping] All right, it's true. I am a murderer!
[everyone gasps]
I overwatered Maude's favorite ficus plant, I panicked, then I
buried the remains. I was hoping to replace it before you got
home.
Bart: But I heard a woman scream.
Ned: Oh? Well, now that I can't explain.
Lou: [holding up plant] Found it, Chief.
Ned: [screams like a woman]
Bart: Oh. Well, I guess that explains everything.
Homer: Not everything. There's still the little matter of the
whereabouts of your wife.
Maude: Um, I'm right here.
Homer: [sarcastic] Oh, I see. Then everything is wrapped up in a neat
little package.
[everyone looks at him]
Really, I mean that. Sorry if it sounded sarcastic.
-- Getting his histrionics wrong, "Bart of Darkness"
back yard!
Ned: [weeping] All right, it's true. I am a murderer!
[everyone gasps]
I overwatered Maude's favorite ficus plant, I panicked, then I
buried the remains. I was hoping to replace it before you got
home.
Bart: But I heard a woman scream.
Ned: Oh? Well, now that I can't explain.
Lou: [holding up plant] Found it, Chief.
Ned: [screams like a woman]
Bart: Oh. Well, I guess that explains everything.
Homer: Not everything. There's still the little matter of the
whereabouts of your wife.
Maude: Um, I'm right here.
Homer: [sarcastic] Oh, I see. Then everything is wrapped up in a neat
little package.
[everyone looks at him]
Really, I mean that. Sorry if it sounded sarcastic.
-- Getting his histrionics wrong, "Bart of Darkness"
Related:
- Ned: Ho! What the gumdrops is going on here?
Bart:
Came to stop you from murdering Lisa like you murdered... - Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
feel the slippery finish. Caresses it, experience it... - Bart: [shudders] I hate this place.
Lisa: Yeah. It seems like our house,
but everything's got a creepy Pat Boone-ish quality... - Ned: Calm down, Neddly diddily diddily diddily, doodily.
They did their best shodaiddily iddily iddily... - Ned: Good night, my little foundlingadings.
Bart:
But it's only 7:00. Lisa: Yeah, the sun is still... - Maude: Todd, would you like some mixed vegetables?
Todd:
Hell, no! Ned+Maude+Rod: [gasp!] Maude: What did you... - Homer: Wait a minute: we all know the one thing we won't need in the
future!
Left-handed stores. That's you, Flanders! ... - Child: Unky Moe?
Moe: [trying hard for control] Whaaat.
is it, sweetheart? Child: My sodie is too cold. My... - Bart: Mr. Burns, I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I want to
go home to my family.
Burns: [sighs] I was hoping I wouldn't have to tell...
