Bart: Mr. Burns, I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I want to
go home to my family.
Burns: [sighs] I was hoping I wouldn't have to tell you this,
but...I'm afraid your family doesn't want you back.
[flicks a switch]
[one of the TV monitors shows the Simpsons in the TV room]
Homer: [not Homer's voice] I do not miss Bart at all.
Marge: [not Marge's voice] I am glad he's gone.
Lisa: [almost Lisa's voice] As am I.
Homer: [drops a sandwich] B'oh!
Bart: It's probably my imagination, but something about them
didn't seem quite right.
Burns: Really? Excuse me for just a moment.
[walks into a nearby room and shuts the door. A TV set of
the Simpsons living room has been set up.]
People, that was all wrong. Homer Simpson doesn't say
"B'oh", he says [checks script] "D'oh"!
Actor Homer: [pulls mask off; looks like Michael Caine] Sorry, M.B., but
I'm having trouble with this character. Is he supposed to
have some kind of neurological impairment, like "Rain Man",
or "Awakenings"? I mean, what the _hell_ am I doing here?!
Actor Marge: And this dialog has _none_ of the wit and sparkle of
"Murphy Brown".
Actor Lisa: [the midget Bart ran into] Hey, you know we are getting
into golden time.
Burns: Yes, well just get it right or you'll all be doing "Come
Blow Your Horn" at the Westport Dinner Theater.
[walks back out into the control room]
All right, let's see what the old Simpson family is up to
now.
Actor Homer: [drops sandwich] Duh-oh!
-- A tricky part to act, "Burns' Heir"
go home to my family.
Burns: [sighs] I was hoping I wouldn't have to tell you this,
but...I'm afraid your family doesn't want you back.
[flicks a switch]
[one of the TV monitors shows the Simpsons in the TV room]
Homer: [not Homer's voice] I do not miss Bart at all.
Marge: [not Marge's voice] I am glad he's gone.
Lisa: [almost Lisa's voice] As am I.
Homer: [drops a sandwich] B'oh!
Bart: It's probably my imagination, but something about them
didn't seem quite right.
Burns: Really? Excuse me for just a moment.
[walks into a nearby room and shuts the door. A TV set of
the Simpsons living room has been set up.]
People, that was all wrong. Homer Simpson doesn't say
"B'oh", he says [checks script] "D'oh"!
Actor Homer: [pulls mask off; looks like Michael Caine] Sorry, M.B., but
I'm having trouble with this character. Is he supposed to
have some kind of neurological impairment, like "Rain Man",
or "Awakenings"? I mean, what the _hell_ am I doing here?!
Actor Marge: And this dialog has _none_ of the wit and sparkle of
"Murphy Brown".
Actor Lisa: [the midget Bart ran into] Hey, you know we are getting
into golden time.
Burns: Yes, well just get it right or you'll all be doing "Come
Blow Your Horn" at the Westport Dinner Theater.
[walks back out into the control room]
All right, let's see what the old Simpson family is up to
now.
Actor Homer: [drops sandwich] Duh-oh!
-- A tricky part to act, "Burns' Heir"
Related:
- Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
feel the slippery finish.
Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?... - Homer: Son, I know you're upset because you thought you saw us on TV
saying we didn't want you in our family.
But those were just actors playing us! Ba... - Bart flicks a pea at Lisa]
Lisa: Hey! Mom! Bart's throwing peas.
Marge: Bart, don't throw peas at your sister. Ba... - Homer: Welcome to the Simpson residence or "casa de Simpson," as I
call it.
Grimes: Yeah, what did you want to see me about, Simpson?... - Lisa: Look, we got a package from the Mr. Sparkle company in Japan.
Homer: Ooh! [opens package, but only Styrofoam packing peanuts spill out.... - Bart: He's great at pointing out everyone's foibles.
Larry: Hey, how're ya doing. Ooh! Look at your hair!... - Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her
to pass me the syrup?
Marge: [Wearily] Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.... - Ned: Calm down, Neddly diddily diddily diddily, doodily.
They did their best shodaiddily iddily iddily diddily diddily.... - Homer: [yelling to be heard] You really did it this time, Bart!
You're in for the punishment of a lifetime!...

