Related:

• Bart: [reading a sign] On this spot, Richard Nixon bowled back-to-back 300 games.
  Homer: Yeah, right. -- Would he lie to you? "Mr. Lisa Goes to Washingto...
• Who would have guessed reading and writing would pay off! -- Homer, "Mr. Lisa Goes to Washingto
• Wow! A shoe horn! Just like in the movies! -- Homer is amazed at what comes with the hotel room, "Mr.
  Lisa Goes to Washingto...
• Homer: Wow, `Win a trip to Washington, DC. All expenses paid, VIP tour'.
  .. Oh, it's for kids. [throws into trash] Lisa: Wait, Dad....
• Lisa: Thanks for driving me to the contest, Dad. Home
  Sweetheart, there's nothing I wouldn't do for that magazine. -- "Mr. Lisa Goes to Washingto...
• Homer: I had a feeling it was too good to be true. Every time you get a million dollars, something queers the deal.
  Lisa: I don't think real checks have exclamation points....
• Homer: [reading] Then I heard the sound that all Arctic explorers dread.
  .. the pitiless bark of the sea lion! [gasp] He'll be killed!...
• Marge: [admiring the Washington Monument] [chuckles] Home
  Hey, what's so funny? Marge: [whispers] Homer: Oh, Marge, grow up....
• Tour guide: Folks, we print more than 18 million bills a day.
  Oh, and in case you were wondering, no, we don't give out free samples....