Related:

• Bart: [reading a sign] On this spot, Richard Nixon bowled back-to-back 300 games.
  Homer: Yeah, right. -- Would he lie to you? "Mr. Lisa Goes to Washingto...
• Burns: Who is that bookworm, Smithers? Smithe
  Homer Simpson, sir. Burns: Simpson, eh? How very strange....
• Marge: Well, at least we got a free sample of Reading Digest.
  Homer: Marge, I never read a magazine in my life, and I'm not going to start now....
• Homer: [reading `Reading Digest'] Hey, a cartoon! [a woman tries to explain a pile of metal that used to be a car] "Well, dear, you always wanted a compact.
  .." [laughs] Ain't it the truth! Marge: No, it's not the truth, Homer....
• Homer: [reading] Then I heard the sound that all Arctic explorers dread.
  .. the pitiless bark of the sea lion! [gasp] He'll be killed!...
• Wow! A shoe horn! Just like in the movies! -- Homer is amazed at what comes with the hotel room, "Mr.
  Lisa Goes to Washingto...
• Homer: Bart! Get out of the Spirit of St. Louis! -- Or is it Looey?
  Mr. Lisa Goes to Washingto...
• Lisa: Thanks for driving me to the contest, Dad. Home
  Sweetheart, there's nothing I wouldn't do for that magazine. -- "Mr. Lisa Goes to Washingto...
• Homer: I had a feeling it was too good to be true. Every time you get a million dollars, something queers the deal.
  Lisa: I don't think real checks have exclamation points....