Related:

• Homer: [reading `Reading Digest'] Hey, a cartoon! [a woman tries to explain a pile of metal that used to be a car] "Well, dear, you always wanted a compact.
  .." [laughs] Ain't it the truth! Marge: No, it's not the truth, Homer....
• Homer: [reading] Then I heard the sound that all Arctic explorers dread.
  .. the pitiless bark of the sea lion! [gasp] He'll be killed!...
• Homer: [reads] Seven ways to spice up your marriage.
  [ahem] [reads woodenly] Marge, you have a nice body....
• Homer: Now that we're all alone, Marge, admit it: you like Lisa best!
  Marge: No! Homer: Oh, so you're a Bart woman, are you?...
• Marge: Well, at least we got a free sample of Reading Digest.
  Homer: Marge, I never read a magazine in my life, and I'm not going to start now....
• at the airport, sees a chauffeur holding a sign that reads, `SIMPSON'] Look, Marge, that guy has the same last name we do!
  -- Homer, "Mr. Lisa Goes to Washingto...
• Homer: Hey, Marge. You wanna hear something funny?
  Flanders thinks I swear too much! Hee-hee!...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Homer: [receives a sweepstakes junk mail with a `You may have already won' check] One million dollars!
  I'm rich! [rushes to the bank] Teller: Mr....