Related:

• Homer: Wow, `Win a trip to Washington, DC. All expenses paid, VIP tour'.
  .. Oh, it's for kids. [throws into trash] Lisa: Wait, Dad....
• Marge: Wow, the President's bathroom... Lisa: [opens a curtain, revealing our First Lady in the tub soaking] Bab
  [gasp] Do you mind! Lisa: Barbara Bush! Babs: Ugh, you have those damn badges....
• Homer: [reading `Reading Digest'] Hey, a cartoon! [a woman tries to explain a pile of metal that used to be a car] "Well, dear, you always wanted a compact.
  .." [laughs] Ain't it the truth! Marge: No, it's not the truth, Homer....
• Marge: [admiring the Washington Monument] [chuckles] Home
  Hey, what's so funny? Marge: [whispers] Homer: Oh, Marge, grow up....
• Tour guide: Well, that's the tour. If you have any questions, I'd be happy to answer -- Lisa
  I have one. Tour guide: Yes? Lisa: Is the remarkably sexist drivel spouted by Malibu Stacy intentional, or is it just a horrible mistake?...
• Marge: Well, at least we got a free sample of Reading Digest.
  Homer: Marge, I never read a magazine in my life, and I'm not going to start now....
• And I'm your tour guide.
• Marge: Homer! Bart! Maggie! Company eating rules.
  Homer: [burps] Oh, right. [everyone eats all delicate, like] Ba...
• Homer: [receives a sweepstakes junk mail with a `You may have already won' check] One million dollars!
  I'm rich! [rushes to the bank] Teller: Mr....