Related:

• Homer: [receives a sweepstakes junk mail with a `You may have already won' check] One million dollars!
  I'm rich! [rushes to the bank] Teller: Mr....
• Homer: Marge, we need to talk. You're spending too much time at the casino and I think you may have a problem.
  Marge: I won sixty dollars last night! Homer: Woo-hoo!...
• Homer: Now lady, I'm buying a pony for my little girl, and I don't care what it costs.
  Lady: Very good. That stunning creature over there is half a million dollars....
• Burns: But they're so wretchedly adorable. 25 little Rory Calhouns.
  ..I can't do it. But I can kill you. [Lisa whimpers like a puppy] No, I can't kill you either....
• Lisa: Mr. Jefferson, my name is Lisa Simpson, and I have a problem.
  Jefferson: I know your problem. The Lincoln Memorial was too crowded....
• Who would have guessed reading and writing would pay off! -- Homer, "Mr. Lisa Goes to Washingto
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Tour guide: Folks, we print more than 18 million bills a day.
  Oh, and in case you were wondering, no, we don't give out free samples....
• Lisa: Thanks for driving me to the contest, Dad. Home
  Sweetheart, there's nothing I wouldn't do for that magazine. -- "Mr. Lisa Goes to Washingto...