Grampa: Don't Be Afraid, Moe. I'm Here To Help You With Your Romantic Problems.

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Grampa: Don't be afraid, Moe. I'm here to help you with your
romantic problems.
Moe: Hey, I don't need no advice from no pinball machine. I'll
have you know I wrote the book on love.
Grampa: Yeah. "All Quiet on the Western Front."
[laugh track "Oohs"]
Moe: Ah, kiss my dishrag.
[studio audience laughter]
Grampa: See, that's your problem, you're a crab. Ladies like sweet-
Moe: Hey, I'm sweet. I'm sweeter than Jewish wine.
Grampa: Then prove it. I want you to charm the next pretty young
thing that walks through that door.
Homer: [coming through that door] Gr-r-reetings!
[wild studio applause]
-- Okay, the second pretty young thing, then,
"The Simpsons Spinoff Showcase"