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• Ah, sweet pity: where would my love life have been without it? -- Homer Simpson I Love Lisa
• Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life have been without it? -- Homer, "I Love Lisa
• Could this be the best day of my life? -- Homer Simpson Homer the Heretic
• You know something, folks, as ridiculous as this sound
  I would rather feel the sweet breath of my beautiful wife on the back of my neck as I sleep than stuff dollar bills into some stranger's G-string....
• Twenty of the suckiest minutes of my life. -- Homer Simpson Burns, Baby Bu
• Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life
  the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind....
• It was the most I ever threw up, and it changed my life forever.
  -- Homer Simpson Homer Goes To College...
• I have found it impossible to carry the heavy burden of responsibility and to discharge my duties as king as I would wish to do without the help and support of the woman I love.
  -- Edward, Duke of Windsor, 1936, announcing his abdication of the British throne in order to marry the American divorcee Wallis Warfield Simpson....
• If there was any justice, my face would be on a bunch of crappy merchandise!
  -- Homer Simpson Flaming Moe'...