Related:

• Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.
  -- Erma Bombeck...
• An ugly carpet will last forever. -- Erma Bombeck
• A man who checks out of the express lane with seven items is the same man who will wear Supp-Hose and park in the Reserved for Handicapped spaces.
  -- Erma Bombeck...
• Most cheeses need work. I don't want to be in the same country as goat cheese.
  It always tastes the way a yak looks in one of those National Geographic specials....
• God created man, but I could do better. -- Erma Bombeck
• Housework can kill you if done right. -- Erma Bombeck
• I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of a hill. -- Erma Bombeck
• Know that a happy dieter has other problems. -- Erma Bombeck
• Never accept a drink from an urologist. -- Erma Bombeck's fathe