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• I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of a hill. -- Erma Bombeck
• When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.
  ' -- Erma Bombeck...
• The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
  -- Erma Bombeck...
• The only reason I would take up jogging is so I could hear heavy breathing again. --Erma Bombeck
• It is fast approaching the point where I don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job.
  -- Erma Bombeck...
• An ugly carpet will last forever. -- Erma Bombeck
• A man who checks out of the express lane with seven items is the same man who will wear Supp-Hose and park in the Reserved for Handicapped spaces.
  -- Erma Bombeck...
• God made man, and then said I can do better than that and made woman. ADELA ROGERS St. JOHN
• Housework can kill you if done right. -- Erma Bombeck