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• It is fast approaching the point where I don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job.
  -- Erma Bombeck...
• I read Playboy for the same reason I read National Geographic.
  To see the sights I'm never going to visit....
• The grass is always greener over the septic tank. -- Erma Bombeck
• God created man, but I could do better. -- Erma Bombeck
• I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of a hill. -- Erma Bombeck
• Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.
  Erma Bombeck...
• If you want to get rid of stinking odors in the kitchen, stop cooking. -- Erma Bombeck
• The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
  -- Erma Bombeck...
• The only reason I would take up jogging is so I could hear heavy breathing again. --Erma Bombeck