Related:

• An ugly carpet will last forever. -- Erma Bombeck
• God created man, but I could do better. -- Erma Bombeck
• Housework can kill you if done right. -- Erma Bombeck
• I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of a hill. -- Erma Bombeck
• Never accept a drink from an urologist. -- Erma Bombeck's fathe
• The grass is always greener over the septic tank. -- Erma Bombeck
• Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. -- Erma Bombeck
• But some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride.
  Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love - why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there....