Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

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Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to screw in the lightbulb and two to fend off all those Californians trying to share the experience....
Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools....
Q: How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. The Universe spines the bulb, and the Zen master stays out of the way....
Q: What's a light-year? A: One-third less calories than a regular year.
Q: Why did the tachyon cross the road? A: Because it was on the other side.
Q: Why do ducks have flat feet? A: To stamp out forest fires.
Q: Why do elephants have flat feet? A: To stamp out flaming ducks....
Q: Why do mountain climbers rope themselves together?
A: To prevent the sensible ones from going home....
Quality Control, n.: The process of testing one out of every 1,000 units coming off a production line to make sure that at least one out of 100 works.
Question: Man Invented Alcohol, God Invented Grass. Who do you trust?
Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!

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