Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

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A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I.
I believe everything positively stinks. -- Lew Col...
A man goes to a tailor to try on a new custom-made suit.
The first thing he notices is that the arms are too long....
A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation.
-- Stephen Crane...
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.
A mathematician is a machine for converting coffee into theorems.
A Mexican newspaper reports that bored Royal Air Force pilots stationed on the Falkland Islands have devised what they consider a marvelous new game.
Noting that the local penguins are fascinated b...
A musician of more ambition than talent composed an elegy at the death of composer Edward MacDowell.
She played the elegy for the pianist Josef Hoffman, then asked his opinion. "Well, it's quite ...
A neighbor came to Nasrudin, asking to borrow his donkey.
It is out on loan," the teacher replied. At that moment, the donkey brayed loudly inside the stable....
A new dramatist of the absurd Has a voice that will shortly be heard.
I learn from my spies He's about to devise An unprintable three-letter word....
A new koan: If you have some ice cream, I will give it to you.
If you have no ice cream, I will take it away from you. It is an ice cream koan....

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