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May a live electric eel take up residence in your underwear.
May all of your successes be failures in disguise, and all of your failures be catastrophic.
May all of your troubles last no longer than do your New Year Resolutions.
May all who love the Lord, love you and those who don't love you, may the Lord give them a limp so you can see them coming.
-- Irish Blessing...
May all your boils, sores, scabs, scurfs, and carbuncles be little ones.
May all your debtors pay off your partner in cash while you're out of the city.
May all your dreams come true, and may you have only nightmares.
May all your hang-ups be drip-dry.
May all your pains be small enough so there's room for them all.
May all your programs work the first time.
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