Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

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I'm a citizen of the universe, and a gentleman to boot!
I'm a clown. That's my sole mechanism of defense. Very few people will go out of their way to punish a clown.
I'm a computer programmer for the Amish.
I'm a confirmed sexist. I prefer sex!
I'm a consultant because I'd rather be self-unemployed.
I'm a creationist; I refuse to believe that I could have evolved from man.
I'm actually into pyropedonecrophilaquabestiality - the urge to have sex with young animals under water that are on fire while killing them and keeping their internal organs.
-- Tim Stryke...
I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck.
I stood in line for some cake. They said, "Do you want white cake or chocolate cake?...
I made a discovery today. I found a computer. Wait a second, this is cool.
It does what I want it to. If it makes a mistake, it's because I screwed it up....
I made a mental note . . . but I forgot where I put it!

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