Related:

• How many pessimists -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  None. Why bother? It's just going to burn out anyway....
• How many Capricorns -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  None. Capricorns can't afford new light bulbs - unless they're a legitimate business expense....
• How many spies -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Why bother? (I guess the point is that spies like to do everything in the dark anyway?)...
• How many Apple programmers -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Only one, but why bother? Your light socket will just be obsolete in six months anyway....
• How many Capricorns -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  I don't waste my time with these childish jokes....
• How many assholes -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  None, assholes never see the light anyway....
• How many off-campus landlords -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  None. The students will just wreck it anyhow, so why bother?...
• How many orthopedic surgeons -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Why don't you just let us take out the socket? You aren't using it anyway, and it will only cause you trouble later....
• How many A&R men -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  None. "Well, I'm going to go out on a beam on this one, but I liked it better without the light bulb....