Related:

• Bart: [to himself] That does it, I'm outta here. [scribbles something on paper] Mrs.
  Krabappel, I have to go to the dentist. I have a carroway seed caught under my bridgework....
• When I was growing up, my mom wanted me to become a priest, which I think is a tough occupation.
  Can you imagine giving up your sex life and then once a week people come in to tell you all the highlights of theirs?...
• Skinner: Now, Bart, son. I don't know what you think you saw .
  .. but, uh ... let me assure you... Krabappel...
• Skinner: Mother doesn't approve of me dating so I need you to keep her busy for a few hours while Edna and I sneak out.
  [sneaks out] Bart: Oh, I can't take much more of this....
• Bart: And then he raked me across the chest! And the weirdest thing was, it was that school janitor who mysteriously disappeared
  Groundskeeper Willy! Lisa: [gasps] Oh my God!...
• Skinner: Well, children, I don't know what you did to all those substitutes, but it's going to stop now.
  Leopold? Leopold: [bursting in] All right, you listen up, you little _freaks_....
• My Mom always told me that sex was a dirty, ugly, horrible thing that I was only to do with someone I loved.
• Skinner: Before we draw up the budget, I believe the students and faculty have a few suggestions.
  Willy: I want a crystal bucket for my slopwater and a brand new filthy blanket....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...