Related:

• WEATHER Environmental conditions which necessitate the wearing of whatever article/s of clothing you just happen not to have brought with you.
  This is because weather has an average unpredictability factor of 97%....
• NULL MODEM Another one of those things which sits around on your desk for months, but mysteriously vanishes the day before you need it.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...
• VOLUNTARY Descriptive of an action which you are doing purely because you have been embarrassed into it.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...
• REFERENCE The academic way of copying what someone else has written.
  The best references don't actually exist. Which means they can say precisely what you want them to say....
• NEIGHBOUR One of those people you occasionally smile at when walking down the stree
  but rarely develop such a bond with that they are concerned when your burglar alarm goes off when you're on holiday....
• INSECTICIDE Insecticide is a wondrous substance used to kill poor little innocent insects, whose only fault is that they like crapping in your food, nibbling on your skin, and buzzing around.
  But why use conventional insecticide when you can use DDT?...
• RETURN An experience of sheer terror. Here's some advice for when you want to return goods to their place of purchase.
  - Find the receipt. Okay, so you only bought your product X yesterday, the shop you bought it from probably only sells an X once in a blue moon and the shopkeeper in question has known you personally for a period of decades....
• QUEEN Not much of a career to get into if you can help it.
  Tends to involve flying all over the place being famous....