Related:

• There is a great pain in my heart... It's probably indigestion.
  .I'll soon take your mind off that. No. It is my husband....
• There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." Jack E. Leonard
• Do you mind if I jump up on your head? I feel like a walk around the block. -- Jack Kirkwood
• I won't tell you how much I weigh, but don't ever get in an elevator with me unless you're going down.
  -- Jack E. Leonard...
• I just want to say, if you had lived, you would have been a very sick man. -- Jack E. Leonard
• He tells you when you've got on too much lipstick, And helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.
  -- O. Nash, on the perfect husband...
• A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.
  Ogden Nash...
• You know it's going to be a bad day when: your only son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own business.