I Just Want To Say, If You Had Lived, You Would Have Been A Very Sick Man. -- Jack E.

Related:

• I'm going to die". (...) "I shall manage. Don't you worry about me," Jack said between clenched teeth.
  Joy shook her head. "I think it can be better than that....
• There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." Jack E. Leonard
• Burns: OK, let's make this sporting, Leonard. If you can tell me why I shouldn't fire you without using the letter "E", you can keep your job.
  Lenny: Uh, OK. Um, I'm a good...work...guy -- Bu...
• Your husband tells me you have a great mind. Too bad it hasn't reached your head.
  -- Jack E. Leonard...
• I won't tell you how much I weigh, but don't ever get in an elevator with me unless you're going down.
  -- Jack E. Leonard...
• My wife's not the worst cook in the world, but she keeps on burning the coffee.
  You would too if you kept pouring it through the toaster all the time. -- Jack E. Leonard...
• Mudpacks aren't good for the complexion. Did you ever see a pretty pig? -- Jack E. Leonard
• Yar: "Captain Jean-Luc Picard, I wish I could say you've been like a father to me, but I've never had one so I don't know what it feels like.
  But if there was one person in this universe who I would choose to be like, someone who I would want to make proud of me, it's you....