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• There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." Jack E. Leonard
• Mudpacks aren't good for the complexion. Did you ever see a pretty pig? -- Jack E. Leonard
• There is nothing wrong with feminizts that reincarnation won't solve.
• I just want to say, if you had lived, you would have been a very sick man. -- Jack E. Leonard
• I won't tell you how much I weigh, but don't ever get in an elevator with me unless you're going down.
  -- Jack E. Leonard...
• Your husband tells me you have a great mind. Too bad it hasn't reached your head.
  -- Jack E. Leonard...
• There is nothing wrong with America that a socialist revolution wouldn't cure.
• My wife's not the worst cook in the world, but she keeps on burning the coffee.
  You would too if you kept pouring it through the toaster all the time. -- Jack E. Leonard...
• The best form of exercise is picnics. You can use up two thousand calories trying to keep the ants and flies away from the potato salad.
  -- Jack E. Leonard...