Related:

• I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel.
  -- Excerpt from insurance form....
• As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no sign had ever appeared before.
  I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. -- Excerpt from insurance form....
• Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn't have.
  -- Excerpt from insurance form....
• A pedestrian hit me and went under my car. The guy was all over the place.
  I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him. -- Excerpt from insurance form...
• The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.
  -- Excerpt from insurance form....
• I told the police that I was not injured, but upon removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull.
  -- Excerpt from insurance form....
• Try as hard as I did, no matter what move I made, that telephone pole matched me and eventually it hit me.
  I'd have to say that the pole was at fault, it certainly wasn't me....
• In my attempt to hit a fly, I drove into a telephone pole. -- Excerpt from insurance form.
• Well, you'd be angry too if you had a tree put a move on you as fast as that one did on me, which is why the car is totally ruined.
  -- Excerpt from insurance form....