Related:

• MEGABOGUE (1987-) Megabogue's music has been described as "anal sadistic", "creative lionism", and "a load of shit" by various critics of differing intellectual standards over the years.
  The crux of their music is a complete lack of talent or effort put into their recordings....
• NEIGHBOUR One of those people you occasionally smile at when walking down the stree
  but rarely develop such a bond with that they are concerned when your burglar alarm goes off when you're on holiday....
• HAIL Like rain, but harder. Meteorologists have conducted studies about the weather patterns relating to hail
  and the likely occurrence of it, and have concluded that it is most likely to hail when you are walking down the street without even an umbrella for protection....
• HANDKERCHIEF A piece of cloth designed specifically to be filled with snot.
  Which must rather irritate it. I mean, I'm sure that you'd be pretty pissed off if you had only come into existence to be wiped on people's noses....
• Orpheus with his lute made trees, And the mountain tops that freeze, Bow themselves, when he did sing
  To his music, plants and flowers Ever sprung; as sun and showers There had made a lasting spring....
• ORDER The process of telling the waiter what you would like to eat, preferably a choice from that on the menu.
  Following the ordering process, you will make a note of everything that they forget to bring you, and finally find the courage to kick up a stink when the meal's over and everyone's leaving....
• KEYBOARD Object which takes the brunt of your frustration with a computer.
  This is, oddly, even the case when the physical computer that is sticking its virtual tongue out at you, is many kilometres, or even timezones, away....
• RETURN An experience of sheer terror. Here's some advice for when you want to return goods to their place of purchase.
  - Find the receipt. Okay, so you only bought your product X yesterday, the shop you bought it from probably only sells an X once in a blue moon and the shopkeeper in question has known you personally for a period of decades....
• ISMISM Belief in any distinctive doctrine, theory or practice.
  Ismism was started up in the mid-1980s by a splinter group from "Atheists For Christ"....