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I went out with this girl who was really fat.

I went out with this girl who was really fat. Did you ever hear the
expression "as big as a house"? She was wearing aluminum siding. She had
two pictures. "Before" and "Before That." And she was shaped like an egg. I
said, "Hey, that's a really nice necklace you've got on." She said, "It's
my belt."
-- Stu Trivax

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